Wilber the Blazer has gone and left his pen...

Let me tell you about my usual morning working for myself.

First, after my alarm wakes me up (or the angry family above me), I'll go to my computer and checm my email, then go to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee that I will consume over the following 8 hours, then I turn on my iTunes/AirTunes on my surround sound system and begint to cook breakfast as the cool breeze from my open windows makes the day come alive.

As the Beatles serenade me to attentiive status, I take my coffee and walk to the window on my bedroom, as my eggs begin to cook. Just out the window, in the parking lot of the complex behind me, there is a Chevy Blazer, deep blue, in pristine condition, and since I myself have a Blazer that is a bit beat up, I take great interest in this.

No sooner do I admire the excellent condition of the car, than I notice plastered across it's 15% tint windows in big white letters:

W I L B U R

Someone thought it would be a good idea to plaster that name across the windshield of a car, and a Blazer at that. Now tell me, couldn't there be a more suited name for the car, or the driver, as it were? How about Orville Reddenbacker? That's taken, you say? Hmmmm. Perhaps Philip II of Macedonia? Damn, taken again.

Well, by the previous argument, it is now proven that there are no new names to be had that would suit this situation or any other. So let's pick a better name. How about a celebrity name. Someone funny. Someone that people of most ages can still appreciate. And what's funnier than a good fall, right? Or a decent trip over the couch? What famous funny person that tripped with the best of them could we name this beat after?

I got it......CHEVY CHASE!

Wait, no. Then this malevolent fiend would now have the dumb luck (and what dumb luck it is) of plastering the actual name of his vehicle across the front.

And that's just.....that's just CRAZY TALK! Who the EFF does that?